Wednesday, June 08, 2005

pictureless frames

So I've been working on making my townhouse beautiful but one thing still escapes me.........I have picture frames all over with absolutely nothing (and nobody) in them. The only frames I have filled is this gift I got from "C" from Z Gallerie thats full of photos of us. Its still sitting in the same place in my bedroom as the day I moved in. I'm not sure why I still have it up, seeing as he's probably taken down all the pictures of us in his room. Sometimes looking at them makes me smile but other times it reminds me of what I lost.

Its been a month now since we've broken up and I can't really explain how I feel about it. There are times when I know it was the right thing to do, but other times I second guess myself. Especially when I'm out downtown with my girlfriends. Instead of trying to meet people, I usually just sit back with my beverage of choice and people watch. This whole bar dating scene is just not my thing. I don't give two shits about anyone at that bar and the feeling is mutual. The girls downtown are gorgeous and plentiful so I will never hold a candle to any of them. Sure I know that I am an awesome girl with a great job, home, and personality who can play a mean game of Golden Tee......but lets face it, its all about hooking up down there and I am not ready to go there.....and come to think of it, I don't think I will be ever again.

My friends who live in the city tell me to sell my townhouse and move into the city to party. Sure its fun do go out, but to move out of my beautiful, spacious and quite house into a shithole apartment where I have to play bumper cars to find parking would try my nerves....and my pocketbook. Not to mention the 50 mile drive each way to work every day.

So whats the solution to fine some piece of mind in my life right now??? Thats why I'm using my blog tonight to work through that. Usually I am way too busy to think about anything, which is a big party of my problem. Now with some actually bonified free time I can take a deep breath and relax. I decided to better myself physically as a way to relax. I joined a pool so I can swim laps and joined a gym to get my hard body back. Now, as for filling my pictureless frames......I will put a family photo in one, some with my girlfriends, one with me and my sister, and the rest wedding pics from the last 2 I stood up in over the past year. Oh and maybe one of my dobermen and my sister's puggies. Tomorrow should be fun. My friends and I are taking the train into the city to bum around and do some shopping (very little shopping b/c we are all poor)....but it should be fun nonetheless.

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