Saturday, July 23, 2005

elephant/donkey lovin'

I have been doing some thinking lately about relationships. I posted something similar to this a couple months back but I feel the need to talk about it again. I know this one girl who does "match.com". On there she states her political preference as "conservative". She gets plenty of "winks" and emails but as soon as she looks at the profile, and it says "liberal", she says "bye bye" or "sorry" and will read no further.

Those of us who enjoy dabbling in politics from time to time, can we be with somebody who's views are so different from out own? I see how many of us argue on here, but do any of you have relationships that transend the political/philosophical barriers of donkeys and elephants?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years who votes democrat and is a Bush-hater. For the first year or so, we decided to ignore the issue.....which wasn't always easy b/c I am involved in the Republican Party and he was a poly-sci major. He wrote an editorial for his college newspaper and which "Bush-bashed" about every other edition. Then the election came around and it just got tougher. I had to go to political events/outings/dinners alone and that was tough.

My question is to all of you.........do you think that someone who's core political beliefs are radically different from your own would be someone you could spend your life with? Would your families get along? I know our families couldn't be more different. When he told his parents I was a republican, they said "oh my god, you're a republican?" Or should things like this not get in the way of loving someone?

I have also noticed lately that I have been getting annoyed with my friends. Its more the "Bush-haters" or the "we shouldn't be in Iraq" people that really don't know what they are talking about. I think sway whichever way the wind is blowing. Its the middle of the roaders that irk me.....b/c you know that if you stand in the middle of the road....you get run over.

I have a good friend who I'm 99% sure was a Republican annoy the hell out of me the other day. He is in Chiropractor school, (lots of hippies), and just got back from a month-long jaunt in Europe. I asked him "Were there a lot of America-haters and Anti-Bush people over there?" He said, "yeah, everyone hates the US, hates Bush and is against the War." I said, "thats too bad" and he said "well, what is your approval rating of Bush right now?" I said "I love him, admire him and think he's doing a fine job with everything he has on his plate right now." To which he replied "are you fucking kidding me? He's a stupid idiot. I don't know how I'm friends with you."

Immediately, my respect for him shot way down. Is that awful for me to admit? Its like he's been influenced by all his friends and from being in Europe and sounds just like every other commie that I can't stand. I have to learn to realize that my friends can think however they please and being a teacher, I won't have any friends if I keep this up. Have any of you ever had issues with friends after you find out their view and thoughts on things?

Thanks in advance for the comments, I really would like to know what elephants and donkeys alike think in response to relationship and friendships.

13 Comments:

At 6:44 PM , Blogger mthomas1776 said...

hey, you know I don't always agree with the self labeled conservatives, but I enjoy talking with Will. He and I seldom agree but I respect how he approaches his beliefs, they are true for him, but he knows that other people just sometimes will not change. I think it is dangerous to take on labels in politics, it oversimplifies the situation. I have dated girls more to the left and more to the right than I am. I look at it as part of their personality, seldom is it an all across the board kind of thing. Most people are more right on some things while being more left on others, which I expect is the case with most relationships. I could never date a girl who volunteered for the Bush or Kerry campaign, I don't respect either of those candidates, or the polarization they represent, I am sure that would alienate even the biggest crush. When I did date an ardent Bush supporter during the 1st campaign, we ended up just laughing at our differences; we agreed on enough daily type things that it was never more enough to start an argument. For someone that takes the partisan politics seriously, it might be a much more important issue to consider.

 
At 9:11 PM , Blogger William said...

I don't really date so I can't say how politics would affect a relationship.

 
At 12:23 PM , Blogger The Anti-Liberali said...

Oh William that is a lie... I have read the comments on your myspace!!

I think it would take a very special conservative and liberal to make a relationship work. Being Republican/Democrat, right/left, conservative/liberal isn't just about politcal beliefs - it is a way of life. And unless you can set aside your differences at the end of the day then it wont work.

 
At 4:05 PM , Blogger William said...

I meant that I do not date as in I don't typically enter into long-term relationships so I wouldn't know how politics affect something like that.

 
At 5:12 PM , Blogger mthomas1776 said...

Will is not the type to give his class ring away...
I haven't seen anyone wearing his letterman jacket either...

Clearly for people that choose to make politics a priortiy in life this is an important point. If you assign value to holding a set of beliefs it seems like you would be starting off in the wrong place to embrace someone without this principle value. However, it seems that you dated someone for two years that was active in politics, albeit on the other side.

My question back is: Would you rather be with a person that didn't care about politics, or someone that held opposing views to yours?

I guess in the end I suspect you would be happier with someone that you didn't have agree to disagree with on things you like to talk about.

 
At 9:12 PM , Blogger The Anti-Liberali said...

OMG - this is a first... I agree with mthomas!!! AHHH!!! What is this world coming to??? ha ha!

I would rather date someone who didn't care about politics... however, BEWARE - I dated someone on and off for 4 years and at first he wasn't interested at all in politics but because I was so active he decided to educate himself and became very very liberal. We fought all the time after that. LOSER!

Come one Will - just give that class ring/letterman jacket away... all the girls are dying to be the one to get it!!! :)

 
At 10:51 PM , Blogger William said...

Yeah they do! That's why you're having dreams about me. ;-P

 
At 11:15 PM , Blogger The Anti-Liberali said...

Not the kind of dreams that you WISH I was having about you!

 
At 11:13 AM , Blogger Tori said...

Well, I'd prefer to have my cake and eat it too! I want a guy who is active in politics AND republican! Why can't I have it all?

J/K....sort of. To be honest, we didn't break up because of our different political philosophies, we fell in love despite all that. So I do know its possible.

I've never been given anyone's class ring...they don't do that stuff anymore. At the high school I teach at, guys don't give their class ring or their letterman's jackets to their girlfriends. Thats too bad b/c I think its really romantic!

 
At 12:06 PM , Blogger mthomas1776 said...

My Grandmother gave my ex a Republican Party campaign pin that she got from George H. W. Bush during the 1980 campaign, along with a hug from before the convention candidate Bush, with this quote: "America needs more women like you." I think in retrospect that was the hardest part for my ex in breaking up with me, giving that pin back. Might be the only thing that she misses...

 
At 1:51 PM , Blogger William said...

Aww, MT you're such a softy!

 
At 4:02 PM , Blogger The Anti-Liberali said...

MT - you can be so sweet... I had no idea!! I think I would miss the pin the most also!!! ha ha!

 
At 7:00 PM , Blogger holleritsme said...

I think its best described as "a point of concern" when you have two people with intensely different viewpoints. Ultimately the only thing that matters is "what is right and what is wrong."

Its ok to dislike the president. Its ok to be concerned about national debt and the strength of our economy and our relationships with other countries in an ever-flatenning world.

But loving someone means being able to not only understand that these things are ok, but being able to respect their point of view, too.

As citizens, we should decide to do "The right thing" to make our whole society strong, rather than try to divide things up based on how people think. There is too much diversity in the world to write it off in to one party or the other.

I think this is an especially divisive time for our country right now, and politics is kind of "in". I'm guessing that things mellow out in the future.

 

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