one hurdle down....

Well, I said goodbye....well my version of it anyways. We were supposed to meet at a "halfway" point at the Cheesecake Factory but he got a flat tire so I drove down to see him in the city. As soon as I got there, we plopped down on the couch I said straight out "this is kinda akward, don't you think?" And he said that he was a bit nervous and it felt like we were high school sweethearts moving away...which made me laugh. We said we've never ended something because we were happy!

So we just spent some time together talking and laughing and discussing how this is going to work. We decided that we cannot see each other for a while because it would be too hard but we'd check in from time to time. I said I was going to email him to find out how breaking the big news of his move to USC to his mom went and he wants to know the outcome of my job situation. So I guess we email once in a while? My friend asked me "do you think you'll ever see him ever again?" Honestly, not sure. I think we will, but it obviously won't be in the same capacity as its been the couple months. I'd like to think that we'll end up being friends but if you never start off being friends, how can you get back to it? Does anyone have the answer to that?

One ex-boyfriend and I were best friends since high school before we started dating....we dated for a little while 6 years ago, things didn't work out, but we were able to maintain our great friendship. Will it ever be the same, nope, but was it worth the shot to know, absolutely. My last boyfriend and I met at a club so we were never friends before. Its been like 9 months but its still too painful to be friends. He was my first real love and maybe someday we can be but I am nowhere near close to that. I still read his blog and will comment from time to time...its just nice to know what's going on in his life. (in case you can't tell, I have real issues with completely severing ties with people I care about.)

So I gave him his USC sweatshirt and a card and he really liked it. He kept saying "You really didn't have to do this." and I said "I know, but I did it because I wanted to and I wanted to give you your first piece of USC clothing." I think he was really touched. He walked me to my car, we said our goodbyes and I drove away, blowing him a kiss as I left for the last time. I did not cry in front of him at all but I did get teary eyed on the way back (which is not a good idea driving in downtown Chicago with cabs, CTA buses and thugs darting out in front of my car). Our last date was exactly what I needed it to be and I have the closure I so sorely needed. Sure it would've been better if he said "I changed my mind, I'm staying!" but that did not happen so c-ya!

I've noticed my blog has taken a turn from politics to more personal lately. I'm sorry if this bugs some readers but its a way for me to release some of my stress and to make my eye twitch a little less. When my life has stablized a tiny bit more (aka job situation), I will be back to writing about politics, I promise. But until then my heart is not into it so if you want to take a hiatus and come back in a few weeks, by all means, do it!