SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!!!!

Awwwwww

So I am administering the first of five final exams for my health class right now. One girl who I have talked with at length and have written about on my blog before comes in with a card for me that says the following:

Thank you so much for helping me with my problems this year. You have made a huge impact on my life. You are a great teacher, person and friend. Thanks to you and my best friend I'm getting special help for my bulimia disorder. Thanks for helping me get through it. It was nice to know I had someone to talk to.

It's nice to know all my students aren't buttheads :)

Take that Barry!!!

No tying Babe Ruth's record of 714 home runs against my Cubbies!!! HA! Bet you thought it would be easy considering we were on an 8 game losing streak and Carlos Zambrano has yet to get a win. Barry Bonds went 0-3 and was even retired on a call third strike. It's about time we won a game!

Maybe this can be a turning point for the Cubs. We have sucked so badly this year and it doesn't help that Derrick Lee, Mark Prior and Kerry Wood have been out with injuries.

Now I'm sure there will be some cocky ass White Sox fans that will come on here and say "whoopie, you won one game, big deal." Well, first of all, shutup. Secondly, we know you won the pennant and we have to deal with all the stupid johnny-come-lately Sox fans every day......since we suck so badly, we have to celebrate every win.

Friendly skies.......

Don't seem so friendly anymore.........my boyfriend and I just paid $223 each (total with taxes) to fly to Atlanta for my annual medical conference! And that was the cheapest by far and had to go to Orbitz.com to get that rate. American Airlines and United were in the $300-$400 range! We are taking Trans Air out of Milwaukee since O'Hare is at least $100 bucks more expensive. I assume higher oil prices are to blame for the high rates. You know it's bad when I actually contemplate driving there!!!

Cinco de Mayo

So no sooner do I put my laptop bag down in my office do I hear a rumble outside......yep, it was a fight directly related to Cinco de Mayo. There are a bunch of Mexican students roaming around with flags but they are being confiscated because of an incident we had last year.

One kid had a flag draped over his backpack while walking up the stairs...it fell....some Puerto Rican kid stepped on it and all hell broke loose.

In addition to that, it's improper Mexican flag etiquette (see below):

The Mexican flag should never be allowed to drag along the ground

The Mexican flag should never be fastened, displayed, used, or stored in such a manner as to permit the Flag to be easily torn, soiled, or damaged in any way

I asked one of my students last period who was covered in Mexican clothing and got his flag taken "What is Cinco de Mayo?" His reply "I actually don't really know, there was some battle or something." Interesting eh?

FYI: May 5th, aka Cinco de Mayo for the Spanish speakers commemorates the victory of the Mexican militia over the French army at The Battle Of Puebla in 1862.

My question is, why does the United States even celebrate Cinco de Mayo? It is a way to make our Mexican population feel a little more at home? Is it a marketing ploy to sell more cervezas and margaritas? I asked my student who moved here from Mexico about it and he said that it's not a big holiday at all and is barely even celebrated outside of Puebla.

I noticed the beginning of an illegal alien backlash. There are many students today wearing red, white and blue and even carrying little American flags to show love for our country. They aren't being "in your face" or even saying anything, unlike the Mexicans who are screaming "vive el mexico" down the halls. As long as these things don't disrupt my classroom, I really don't care....but at least one of my kids left a little America flag in the hand of my plastic skeleton before they left :) I love the USA.

interesting forward

TWENTY ONE reasons why English is hard to learn.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

English is a Crazy Language

Mr. President, I'm heading to Mexico

I thought this was absolutely hilarious!!!

Dear President Bush:
I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:


1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don’t enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.
Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely,
David M. Bresnahan (www.newswithviews.com)

"Immigrant" Protests

I just don't get it. I have many hispanic students that are ditching today to head downtown for the "Immigration Protest." I just had one of my mexican students say to me "aren't you impressed that I'm here today?" Ummmmm.....no, you should be here today. I went on to ask him "Are the kids that are missing today going to the rally b/c they feel strongly about the cause or do they simply want an excuse to miss school?" He replies "Oh, just a reason to ditch!!"

I was watching the Today Show (yeah, I know, only watching to hear details about a soldier that was killed in Iraq, but what do you know, they didn't cover it at all)....anythewho, they were calling today "Immigration Protest".

THAT TERM IS INCORRECT. It has nothing to do with immigration. This should be called "ILLEGAL ALIEN PROTEST" but I guess that doesn't sound all warm and fuzzy to the commie media. This is nothing more than millions of people bitching about consequences of their illegal actions. That would be like me getting drunk and running over a 3 year old on a tricycle.....and then protesting that I might get in trouble for it. IT'S ILLEGAL.

I guess by walking out of school and not going to work, they are showing us what it's like to be without illegal aliens and mexicans for a day. Well, I'll tell you what, my classes sizes are much smaller and it's nice! I have an idea, why don't all of us US Citizens do a "day without the United States" and see how they like it. What the hell has Mexico done for these people anyways? Precisely Jack. My students carry around their Mexican flags and refuse to stand for the Pledge.....is this any way to treat the country you so desperately want to be a part of? NO.....NO BECAUSE THESE ILLEGALS DO NOT WANT TO BE A UNITED STATES CITIZEN.

Immigration to me means people from other countries coming to the United States for a better life. They want to become Americans, assimilate into our culture but they do not forget their heritage. They don't come illegally and then have the balls to make the "Star-Spangled Banner in Spanish." UNLIKE CANADA, WHO HAS TWO RECOGNIZED NATIONAL LANGUAGES.....WE HAVE ONE, ENGLISH. I'm fed up when taking money out of an ATM or calling customer service numbers and being asked "For English press one, para espanol prece (?) dos".

Rush Limbaugh really said exactly what I was thinking: "Americans, which means assimilating and acculturating into the great American culture. They have not come here just for jobs, to send the money home. They have come here to become Americans. The problem here is that, as these protests indicate, and as the Star-Spangled Banner indicates in Spanish and there's a number of other indications that are obvious, this aspect, this wave of illegal immigrants do not really indicate they want to become Americans. They don't want to be immigrants; they want to be legal so they can get jobs. The country is just a job market to them. It's a big distinction, because without the acculturation and the assimilation, we're just going to end up Balkanizing the society. And when they choose May 1, Soviet May Day, to go out and protest and basically shout and get in our faces and then purposely try to cause a backlash and demand to be exempted from our laws, this is not immigration that's going on here. I think we do this a disservice by referring to it as an immigration issue. It's not that."

All the United States is asking is that you follow the laws of the land, is that too much to ask? What about the countless numbers of people all over the world who are on a wait list to become American citizens??? Should all these illegals get rewarded for their actions and penalize those who are going through the right channels? Don't you think that would encourage more border jumping? It's simply not safe. I say, reform the Immigration and Nationality Act and make illegal residency a felony. It sure as hell is in Mexico....your butt will be in jail!!!

In conclusion, I hope that our government stands firm and passes these laws. In this day and age of terrorism, we cannot just let thouseands of people walk into our country every day, it's not safe. I say a real quick way to curb the problem, granted not the nicest, is put the military on the border with a "shoot-to-kill" order. If you attempt to cross the border anywhere besides the designated checkpoints, you will be considered a national security threat and will be shot on the spot. Will there be women and children gunned down, yes, will it be a deterrant, yes. Does it make me sound like a heartless person and a "typical republican" denying innocent people of the "America Dream", sure. But you know what, they don't deserve the American Dream. You get in line alone with everyone else, get your citizenship, and then you'll get my respect. Until then, quit bitching in our streets about what you deserve and are entitled to and get back to that low-paying job you came here for.