Thursday, June 30, 2005

Come on Earthquakes!

I received this email from an old high school friend of mine. She is a very smart girl but has become a commie because of a combination of her involvement with Amnesty International, going to college at American University, going to the Peace Corps for a couple years, and now is living in California. I'd say she's surrounded by democrats 24/7. Sooooo.....I get this email from her and a few of my responses will be included:

Subject: Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we'vedecided we're leaving.We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. (good go, You're slowly breaking away anyways along your fault line anyways, you'll float on over and smack into Japan. So get your English/Japanese translators out because whether you crack off via Mother Nature or leave on your own accords, you will become part of Japan b/c you have no military of your own!)

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split willbe beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. (crap, guess I'm moving out of the midwest b/c I'd rather kill puppies than go to the "dark side.")

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. (I happen to fancy the beaches of Georgia and Florida)

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Opryland. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. Yee haw! (we get all the hottie country music stars and Southern Gentlemen and you get hardcore gang-bangers who will be incredibly pissed off b/c you took all the guns away. The Bloods and Crips will revolt and your states will burn like a nasty outbreak of herpes.)

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's,we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. (Is this stat right?)

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. (yaaaawwwn, I am so sick of this same tired crap. Face it, you lost the House, Senate and the Presidency for a reason.....take off your skirts and quit whining like my 13 year-old students)

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percentof the country's fresh water,more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese,90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfurcoal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. (its okay, most of us red states are beer drinkers so keep your commie-tainted wine. We have plenty of lakes to drink from, cattle to grill, and we're going to drill the shit out of Alaska so have fun driving your hybrids.)

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans(and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of thetornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and theUniversity of Georgia.We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. (I'd rather fat than be a drugged-out skinny crack whore. Our states will have morals and values and won't be one big, heroin hippy orgy)

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale,62 percent believe life is sacred until it comes to the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico. (We do have higher morals, its as simple as that. Go to your local jail and see who most of the inmates would vote they'd vote Demcrat! Ask Saddam who he would vote for....and whatever his answer is you should vote the opposite. I'm sure he was smitten with the thought of Kerry beating President Bush. Keep on puffing the magic dragon, its done so much for you liberals lately. Maybe thats why liberals believe what they are saying actually makes sense, they've smoked all their sensible brain cells to death.)

Author Unknown in New California. (grow a set and put your name down, what a sally)

Sunday, June 26, 2005

What a Great Lake can do.............

My apologies for the lack of posts this week. I took a graduate class to bump myself over to BS+15 on our teacher pay scale and it was for one week, 10 hours a day.

Then my girlfriends and I went up to Door County, Wisconsin to vacation for the weekend. For those of you that aren't familiar with the area, its the penisula in WI, about 5 hours north of Chicago, which is small, quaint, quiet and beautiful. Its the Hamptons for Illinois people who need to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life. BUT, its not nearly as prestigious or glamourous as New York's counterpart. We went boating, laid out, browsed in little antique shops, had Whitefish Chowder, drank at the local watering hole, went to a yachter's wine and cheese party and stayed at a little cozy motel next to the boat marina. After the hectic week I had, I needed it! I feel much better :)

I took a hiatus off of politics so I have nothing to comment on that topic. I did, however, learn that "Natalee Holloway" has become a verb. We were at a boat show and these two gentleman offered to show us around their 54ft. boat. They told us to walk down the stairs to the living quarters and they'd be behind us. We said "Don't Natalee Holloway us!" So sad, but maybe there will be good that comes from her tragedy. Us women will have our wits about us even more than we already do.

American Flag Burning

Originally uploaded by joshbousel.
There are some great discussions on the Blogs: Elephant Walks and Anti-Liberali on the topic of flag burning. I encourage you to read them and then the comments. Feel free to jump on in the debate, the water's great! The sites are posted under my "links" section. Enjoy!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

So proud of my fellow elephants

My blog has inspired my sister to start one. Its a fascinating one called The Ranting Republican. She, like myself, often find ourselves surrounded by my fellow teachers and her law professors. We both needed an outlet and have found one by blogging. She has now introduced a couple other law school bloggers: The Elephant Walks and The Anti-Liberali.

Its so great that we finally have a small voice out there amongst the massive liberal media. Blogs like The Drudge Report and others have broken stories and exposed phonies and scandals left and right.

So I say, great job guys, keep it up! Don't let the haters that post on your blogs get you down. You are giving the other half of the story that is so convienently left out by the mainstream media. And as future lawyers, hey, its good practice!

On a more personal note, I'd just like to announce I have been named to my chapter of the Young Republican's Executive Board as Treasurer. (((as I pat myself on the back))).

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Batman Begins

I just got back from seeing Batman Begins. I must say I was fascinated, enthralled, and captivated. The movie paid homage to the darker, more sinister Batman of the first and second installments.....before the goofy Riddler and Batgirl. I loved Michael Keaton's portrayal of Batman and Christian Bale did as good a job. I wasn't quite sure where the story was going at first and how it figured into the plot but as the story unfolded, it became clear.

A couple rants................Katie Holmes does not look nearly old enough to be an Assistant District's Attorney. Oh and there were too many instances of creepy eyes. This is a personal irrational fear that I must live with where I cannot handle movies with glowing eyes, bleeding eyes, eyeballess (is that a word?) eyes, eyes rolling into the back of their head, things sticking out of eyes, you get the picture.

Oh and I've come to the conclusion that I like the "bad boys" in movies. I'm eerily attracted to Batman, as well as the Phantom of the Opera and Darth Vader in Star Wars. I secretly cheer for them and love the black clothing. I dont like bad boys in real life, just movies. I have no patience for bad boys in real life.......I say "get over it, go to counseling, have a beer and lighten the hell up."

The last 30 seconds of the movie I am a huge fan of. It reminded me of the end of "Red Dragon." Good call directors. Overall, I'd give it a B+. The movie was much needed, as they never explained how Batman came to be, where he got all his toys and how he became a hellagood fighter. All the said is that his parents were murdered and his hunger for revenge drove him, well, batty!

Friday, June 17, 2005

lazy friday night

What a laid back Friday night. I went grocery shopping, cooked up some chicken on my grill and mixed that into a salad of mixed greens, dried cranberries, granny smith apple chunks, white cheddar and balsamic vinegarette.......mmmm. Then I watched some Cubs baseball, then went for a short run, watching the Cubs again now and then I'm off to see a 10:20pm showing of "Batman Begins." I'll let you all know what I think when I get back.

Cover Girl

For those of you who want to see me on the cover, I will email you with the link so you can see it. Just leave me a post. I just don't want to post it b/c it has my first and last name. It was early in the morning, I am laughing and it looks like I have a double-chin, ick! But I guess I'm my own worst critic.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Home Sweet Home

Well, I'm back from the NATA National Convention in Indianapolis, IN. The only speaker I attended was the keynote speaker, Jim Morris, who Dennis Quaid played in the baseball movie "The Rookie." I went to the exhibit hall and got lots of freebies ranging from backpacks, to ankle braces, patellar tendonitis bands to mouthguards. My co-workers and I were also celebrities b/c we graced the cover of the "NATA Convention Daily News." People came up to me in the bars and said "you're the cover girl!" First and last time anyone will say that about me! Oh and people were calling me a "virgin" since it was my first convention.....once again I said "I haven't been called that in a while!"

All and all the convention was a good time. My fellow classmate from undergrad bailed on me the morning we were to check into the hotel so she could head home and move into her new house......sticking me with a rather large bill.........but the people at the Hampton Inn were great and cancelled my reservation with no penalty. I stayed with 4 other people and slept on the floor........until I bought an Aerobed which I may return.

I drank a lot this week and was out till the wee hours of the morning. There were 15,000 of us and we literally took over the city.....bars opened just for us. I sang, danced and drank my heart out with hundreds of people who have the same job as me, it was cool. And I also noticed how many single athletic trainers there were. Why you may ask? If you knew me, you'd know why........WE WORK TOO DAMN MUCH. It was nice swapping stories and sympathizing with each other.

I also got to go to a WNBA game last night. It was the Indiana Fever vs. Detroit Shock. Watching my former classmate and all-star Tamika Catchings was interesting too. No wonder why I didn't make the basketball team 2 years in a row....I was up against her and I got served bigtime. Her and her WNBA sister and another girl who was an Illinois starter. After the game we got to go out on the Indiana Pacer court at Conseco Field and shoot around. I'm happy to say I swished a free throw AND a 3-pointer baby!

Well, its great to be home and great to be sleeping in a bed for the first time since last Saturday.

Oh yeah, I decided boys are shady. (** yes I know girls can be shady too**) Case and point. I'm at the convention no more than 5 minutes and I run into my ex-boyfriend from college. He was a grad student athletic trainer,I worked with him my 5th year and we dated for 8 months. I met up with him and his friend at his college's alumni party and his MARRIED friend tried to take me home. I mean, are you kidding me? I said to him "you are married! I am not a homewrecker and would never do anything like that!" He said "would it help if I took off my ring?" WTF? Then he goes into telling me about how him and his wife don't have sex anymore and at this point I just kept ordering free Coronas to make me forget this disturbing conversation. THEN my ex comes over and we start talking about his wedding next month. (I was invited but decided not to go) Anyways he mentions if we were to hook up that as long as he told his fiancee, she'd be okay with that, and that it might even turn her on if he explained what happened. OMG, ewwwww. He then went on to say thats one of the many reasons he loves her annd that they have talked about bringing another person into their bedrooom. OMG I felt like I was in Bizarro World. They asked me to come back and play drinking games with them and the 2 girls they were rooming with..........which I denied in warp speed time. I excused myself and walked back to my hotel thinking to myself "dear god, what kind of guys are out there???" And then I missed my most recent boyfriend thinking to myself "he's much more normal than these hornballs. At least he only wanted to be a hornball with me...well I think anyways." My ex from college is a good guy and swears he and his fiancee are open with each other about everything that they he is doing right by her and he told me not to judge b/c every relationship is different. I guess but I feel that if you have to go outside the relationnship that something is missing. As for his friend, who's only been married 13 months in a sexless marriage?....yeesh. I asked him if she was like that before and he said "she was a nympho but then after we were married for like 3 months, she changed." Dear God I hope that doesn't happen to me!!!!!

Well, I got my Continuing Education Credits, I learned a little and partied a lot. All and all a good week and tomorrow is cleaning day!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Porn Star Attends GOP Fundraiser

See, we aren't just a bunch of stuffy rich white christians.......oh and according to Dr. Dean, we don't know how to earn a living.

WELL, Mary Carey I'm sure works hard (no pun intended) for her $$$ in the adult entertainment world.

Here's the link:

Porn Star Attends GOP Fundraiser

Well, back to my medical conference in Indianapolis!!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Parade, BBQ & The Beatles

Talk about a long day. After AOL IMing until 4am, I awoke at 7:30 am and it took every Republican bone in my body to pry myself out of bed to go march in a parade for a couple of miles in 90 degree heat. We were sandwiched inbetween the "Shriners Flying Carpets" (old guys whizzing around in go-carts look like flying carpets) and an Animal Rescue with all sorts of cute doggies up for adoption. Hundreds and hundreds of people lined the streets. The Congressman got 99% applause with a couple of mean comments thrown our way. I mean seriously, who starts a fight at a parade full of kids and floats? A bitter commie, thats who. Anythewho, I am an idiot who wears flip flops.........I thought the parade was only going to be a few blocks, I think I walked to Egypt and back. Between my big toe and second toe is raw, in case any of you were curious.

My fellow teacher's BBQ was a smashing good time. I had a delightful cheese brat, several beers and played bean bag toss and bocceball.

Then we had the bright idea to go to a local pool hall to hear a Beatle's cover band play. They weren't half bad and I realized I like the earlier Beatles stuff much better. They had three sets and they went from their early clean cut years to the drugged out hippie years. Pretty laid back, except for the intermissions where we danced in the small place inbetween pool tables to annoyingly fun classics like "The Electric Slide", "Cha-Cha Song", "Baby Got Back", "YMCA", "Celebrate", and last but not least "Love Shack." Why the F is that song so popular? Honestly. They did play "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy", which kicks all sorts of ass.

We mostly people-watched. There was this fat trashy lady who was wasted with her beer gut hanging out of her red halter top and flopping over her tight white jean shorts. She was hanging all over the security guards and she even took a header down some stairs. All and all, a decent time. The average age, I'd say was 40's, with it being the Beatles and all. Oh and there were great drink specials: $1.50 Miller products, $2.50 Corona, and $3.00 Jager Bombs.

Random day, but fun day.

Saturday, June 11, 2005


Praise the Lord, my beloved Cubbies won 14-6 today vs. Boston Red Sox. This was the first time we've played them since they beat us in the 1918 Worldd Series and our first matchup at Wrigley Field.

Some fun facts from today's game:

-4,799 days since Greg Maddux hit his last home run....Congrats Greg!

- Cubs had 20 hits

-Jeromy Burnitz had 2 bombs today, with other HR's from Hollandsworth and Maddux

I love my Cubs! Fly that W flag high! Lets hope the rest of the weekend is as productive!!

nice day

Ahhh, what a fun and productive day. I decorated my spare bedroom in a beachy theme. It will be a place for me to go, relax and daydream about my beloved Cayman Islands. I've always wanted to live there and even went as far as to call all the area schools when I was down there vacationing and even sent in resumes. Work visas aren't easy to get. So, I figured since I can't move to Grand Cayman, I'll bring it to me.

I went to dinner with some fellow medical staff and headed up to Wisconsin to hang with some teachers. It was a sausagefest until my girlfriend and I got there. We went to a bar on Lake Michigan, ate nachos and wings, and drank beer. It was a blast. I swear we are one big Seinfeld episode. Topics ranged from dyson vaccuum cleaners, to Atari and Nintendo games, to our students, and movie quotes from Office Space, Spaceballs, and Full Metal Jacket.

Good times. Now its time to hit the hay because I have to walk in a parade with our US Congressman at 9am!!!

Friday, June 10, 2005


Originally uploaded by Toribear5.
A 25 year old who now can say she's "off her rocker"


Originally uploaded by Toribear5.
I potted flowers today, go me.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Officially a suburbanite

Well, its official.........I'm a surburbanite. I planted flowers, bought a rocking chair and attended a political dinner at a fabulous, exclusive country club.

What 25 year old buys a rocking chair you may ask? One that is off her rocker perhaps? I think I'm pre-disposed to liking them because my mom used to rock me to sleep for years. When my sister was a baby she'd rock her and I'd get mad and say "two babies" and make her move my sister over to one leg and I'd crawl up on her other. It just seemed like the perfect accent to my front porch and a great place to read my mail and enjoy a nice glass of OJ.

Lets just hope I don't turn into a bitter lady who angrily rocks while pointing a stick at kids walking by or yelling "get your dog off my lawn."

Lately I've been pondering surburban live vs. city life. 99% of my friends in the burbs are either married or in serious relationships, which is where I was until a month ago. Most of my single friends are in the city......BUT once they want to settle down they ALL move back to the burbs. Sooooo, the way I think about it, I'm just years ahead of the game. They'll be back.............

Howard Dean

This guy is hilarious!! He's spouting out all the rhetoric that is purely laughable and I have him to thank for almost spitting out my salad twice at dinner. Even his own party is turning on him (ex. nancy pelosi among others).

Genius words from El Rushbo in reference to the comments Dean recently made against Republicans:

RUSH: These people (Democrats) are so into their own supremacy and superiority, which is funny because what's really bothering them is a giant loser inferiority complex, and so they're psychologically all confused and twisted into thousands of little pretzels and they don't really have a positive outlook on life. They don't get up and see anything decent and good, and so they've got a party chairman out there that cements the notion every time he opens his mouth. They don't even have an agenda. All they've got is a bunch of hate; all they've got is a bunch of rage and a bunch of anger. Of course, if you hate somebody -- if you're really filled with rage; if you're seething with it -- you want them to know it, and especially if the people you hate laugh at you, you get even angrier and you get even more forceful and you say, "Okay, you don't believe me? I hate you. Are you hearing me? I hate you!"

Except from DEAN: The Republicans are not very friendly to different kinds of people. They're a pretty monolithic party, they're pretty much, you know, they all behave the same, they all look the same, and they all, you know, it's pretty much a white Christian party -- and the Democrats adopt everybody they can think of in our party.

RUSH: Democrats adopt everybody they can think of in our party. White Christian party. You know, a greater percentage of minorities, including blacks, voted for George W. Bush than live in the state Howard Dean governed? Forty percent of Hispanics voted for George W. Bush. In fact, he was on the Today Show with Matt Lauer, and Matt Lauer said, "What did you mean by that comment? I mean, 62 million people voted for President Bush in the last election. Is that your message to those people a year away from the midterm elections?"


RUSH: Now, look at this. On the one hand while the Democrats are dumping all over Janice Rogers Brown -- an African-American nominated by a Republican president -- Howard Dean is running around saying the GOP is "a white Christian party." Let's not forget this. The Democratic Party stopped Carl McCall in his race to be governor-of-New York. A longtime black official: they stopped him from being governor. They did not fund his campaign as promised. They stopped the late Maynard Jackson, former Atlanta mayor from being the chairman of the Democratic National Committee; they stopped Miguel Estrada from serving on a federal appeals court. They tried to stop Clarence Thomas from getting to the Supreme Court. They tried to stop Janice Rogers Brown, and they're out there saying that they are the party of diversity? And yet I have just mentioned to you two blacks in their own party they stepped on and squashed and other blacks and a Hispanic in the Republican Party they are trying to step on and squash. If you look at the leadership of the Democratic Party, it's pretty lily white to me. We'll have to go look this up, but I can cite for you all the complaints during the Kerry campaign of 2004 from civil rights activists. There weren't enough black people in his campaign at the high level. Remember this, and yet here's Howard Dean running around saying that the Republicans are a white Christian party. It's absurd. But this is what the Democrats believe and this is what they want to hear. So nobody's going to make a move to get rid of Howard Dean.


Wednesday, June 08, 2005

tourist in my own hometown

Today a couple of my fellow teachers and I hopped on a train and a little over an hour later we arrived in downtown Chicago. I felt like a tourist and finally saw Millennium Park. I didn't bring my camera (cute purse was too small) so I'll post pics other people have taken of it. We bummed up and down Michigan Avenue and I oogled all the delightful items at places like Burberry, Coach, Cartier, Tiffany & Co., Neiman Marcus, and Polo Ralph Lauren that I cannnot afford any time soon because of my ugly morgage. But nevertheless, I marched my Tiffany and Coach purse wearing fabulous self in there and walked around like I owned the place. *Interesting observation: When walking into Coach, the sales rep looked my friends up and down and came over to me and said "fabulous purse, I love that one!" and ignored my other Coachless friends. The same thing happened at Tiffany's. I guess thats just business!

***My blog has been really fussy lately. Sometimes it shows my recent posts, othertimes, nothing***

All and all a nice, relaxing day. While most of my friends are teachers, I start to feel guilty when telling my full-time workers about my lazy days of summer. But then I think to myself: I work enough hours during the other 9 months of the year that would more than cover the entire summer! I deserve this brief rest and will be back to my 80 hours a week before I know it. Soooo, I will lend a sympathic ear to my friends in the business/law/medicial worlds but I will not be made to feel bad about it!!!

Tomorrow my mom is coming up to help me learn the finer points of gardening and then I'm going to a fabulous political dinner at a golf course so smooze, mingle, sip chardonnay, and meet intelligent people!!!


Originally uploaded by Christopher Collins.
this is what the whole bean looks like.


Originally uploaded by Brian Teutsch.
The butt of the bean......its under construction.

Crown Fountain 4

Crown Fountain 4
Originally uploaded by Brian Teutsch.
I finally went to Millennium Park today. I didn't have my camera so I'm borrowing these pics.....enjoy

new motivation

I'm watching "Honey" with Jessica Alba. Damn that girl has some abs. Oh, its on!!!

pictureless frames

So I've been working on making my townhouse beautiful but one thing still escapes me.........I have picture frames all over with absolutely nothing (and nobody) in them. The only frames I have filled is this gift I got from "C" from Z Gallerie thats full of photos of us. Its still sitting in the same place in my bedroom as the day I moved in. I'm not sure why I still have it up, seeing as he's probably taken down all the pictures of us in his room. Sometimes looking at them makes me smile but other times it reminds me of what I lost.

Its been a month now since we've broken up and I can't really explain how I feel about it. There are times when I know it was the right thing to do, but other times I second guess myself. Especially when I'm out downtown with my girlfriends. Instead of trying to meet people, I usually just sit back with my beverage of choice and people watch. This whole bar dating scene is just not my thing. I don't give two shits about anyone at that bar and the feeling is mutual. The girls downtown are gorgeous and plentiful so I will never hold a candle to any of them. Sure I know that I am an awesome girl with a great job, home, and personality who can play a mean game of Golden Tee......but lets face it, its all about hooking up down there and I am not ready to go there.....and come to think of it, I don't think I will be ever again.

My friends who live in the city tell me to sell my townhouse and move into the city to party. Sure its fun do go out, but to move out of my beautiful, spacious and quite house into a shithole apartment where I have to play bumper cars to find parking would try my nerves....and my pocketbook. Not to mention the 50 mile drive each way to work every day.

So whats the solution to fine some piece of mind in my life right now??? Thats why I'm using my blog tonight to work through that. Usually I am way too busy to think about anything, which is a big party of my problem. Now with some actually bonified free time I can take a deep breath and relax. I decided to better myself physically as a way to relax. I joined a pool so I can swim laps and joined a gym to get my hard body back. Now, as for filling my pictureless frames......I will put a family photo in one, some with my girlfriends, one with me and my sister, and the rest wedding pics from the last 2 I stood up in over the past year. Oh and maybe one of my dobermen and my sister's puggies. Tomorrow should be fun. My friends and I are taking the train into the city to bum around and do some shopping (very little shopping b/c we are all poor)....but it should be fun nonetheless.


I haven't been able to post for a while..............testing..............